I was reminded recently of the importance of teachable moments, or I guess more accurately the importance of catching those teachable moments. I think much of the importance of homeschooling can be distilled down to those teachable moments that are lost when a child spends a majority of their day in a brick and mortar school.
So, first let me define what I mean by a teachable moment. It’s a pretty broad definition encompassing those moments in life where a lesson is more timely learned in context. This doesn't cover more academic subjects which often don’t have a contextual arena. Ok, even this I think can be argued, as subjects like history are better learned on site, but that aside, many academic subjects and other subjects can be taught in any place or time that is developmentally appropriate for the child.
However, teachable moments are uniquely tied to context and can be learned and incorporated with the minimal of effort at the time and virtually lost when the surrounding situation and emotional milieu is lost. I will give an example that occurred to me just last week. I used to take my middle son to his karate lessons before he had a driver’s license, but when he got his license, I am ashamed to say, I fell off driving him quite a bit. For a while, I would stop by and make sure he had arrived safely but as the studio was not that far away and the lessons were in the middle of the day, I had few worries. Several months went by and then suddenly due to a car crunch situation, I had to drive him. It was nice to be back at the studio, but then something happened that I was able to make a teachable moment. Before class started, my son received a phone call from a friend. He was 15 minutes early and took the phone and stepped outside to complete his call. I was pleased to see this as I do not like people chatting away on cell phones in confined areas, making everyone else listen to their conversations. Five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes later he came running into the studio, chucked his phone into his bag and dashed into class. He was breathing heavy from the rush and I could tell that it took a few minutes in class for him to fully focus on the material and “be present.”
After class, I pulled him aside and asked him what had happened before class. He couldn’t figure out what I was referring to, so I prompted him with asking about the phone call. He shared that it was a friend that just wanted to talk. When I began to chastise him, he couldn’t understand it at first. He pointed out that he wasn't late to the class and it was all done before class. And all this was true.
However, let’s look at the lost opportunities there. He missed chances to talk to the teacher and continue to develop that relationship. He missed his teacher looking out the door at him to check where he was and saw him on the phone. He missed the chance to welcome a new member to class, and he actually missed out on a few moments of class while his attention was trying to refocus from friend mode to karate class mode. In and of itself, this is a minor infraction, and would not even have merited a mention if I had not been there. He never would have reported it and certainly the teacher wouldn't have reported it. It was too small and insignificant to really warrant anyone’s attention, but simply by being present, I was able to take the moment and turn it into a teachable moment.
I started with discussing how when he arrives at class, early even, he should start getting his mind in the karate state of mind. He can spend a few extra moments stretching, or talking to the teacher, but overall being mindful of his environment and its expectations. When I pointed out how hard the transition was in the beginning of class, he began to see my point. I was able to expand this into a discussion of mindfulness in other areas of life, including school work, and some day work life. I was also able to counsel him on how to gently disentangle himself from a conversation with a friend when he has another commitment. It turned into a great discussion and we went into many tangents with life lessons, and to think, if I hadn't gone with him, I would have lost the moment.
I understand that it is impossible to be with your kids every minute of every day, nor is it advisable to try to do so. But, when you can be, look for these teachable moments and pounce on them. You'll be glad you did!